Who am i that you still think of me? I'm not worthy.
That you hear me even when I'm not calling out to you because i refuse to say your name.
I don't deserve the things you do for me because right now, i want nothing to do with you.
Once again i find myself seeking the things i know wont make you happy, but make me happy for at least a couple of hours, once again i find myself deep into the hole that i have dug all on my own, I don't ever see myself improving from where i am because i refuse to see and let you take me where you want to take me. I gotta admit that I'm scared. I'm scared that i'll end up messing everything up, I'm scared people wont take me seriously because they know how i am and have seen me fail..and the reason which I'm scared the most is..
what if i wasn't meant for anything? what if because I've failed on you so many times and given up on you time after time, there just isn't anything you have for me.
I'm lost.
I wanna be found.
I wanna be TRULY found.
The kind of found that i'll forget where and why i was lost.
I want to give you my all, but whole heartedly. No shortcuts, no skips and jumps.
I want to FIND YOU because i know you've already found me.
Find you, want you, need you, LOVE you!
I want to love you more than i've ever loved in my whole life.
I want to forget everything and i want everything to forget the old me, start off completely new, i want to feel like you have a purpose for me in this life. That i wont always be stuck and lost in this hole that i keep digging and digging, hoping that someday ill finally hit rock bottom but knowing that it's a bottomless pit..
Save me.
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